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| Occasionally i do like to write in my xanga, but seeing how this is my second post I'd have to stick with the word "rarely." So I have come to the conclusion about two things in my life. Number one, customer service or friendly people are nonexistent anymore, and second, i want to move to New York City. I don't really want to explain, but they should be self explanatory anyway. Lately, life seems to be a blur; week after week goes by before I can even blink twice. I mean, it seems slow when you are in the moment, but then, bang, sunday is over and I am back to Monday again. I think Jamie is the only thing that keeping me sane right now. I mean, my classes aren't really hard, it's just being away from civilization yet again and also trying to make money. What ever happened to good old fashioned jobs. No, now you have to know everything and you have to have years and years of schooling just to do simple jobs. I seemed to have lost the utter joy in my life, other than sharing what i have with my fiancee. Like, high school sucked pretty bad, but i had a drive and no stress, except for tests. Also, why is it that when you don't have a job, you somehow have money to do things, but when you get a job, all the sudden you have nothing. Life is hard, but it could be a lot worse. At least i have a loving family, friends, an education, and best of all, a caring future wife that impresses me with her common sense and her will to be a doctor. Anyway, I'm done rambling. Goodnight to all my wonderful readers. lol, in other words, good night jamie. | | |
| So I am awake as usual, but I've always had this problem ever since I left for college. It feels like old times writing in xanga. I'm really sick of these blogs, especially myspace; it just gives people a false sense of personality and fake relationships. Anyway, life is pretty good, but I still feel rushed and that things are kind of crazy. I mean, moving to Charleston is awesome, but scary at the same time. I really want to make this work and actually stick with this new major, which is historic preservationan and community planning. I want to provide for Jamie and give her the things that she wants. I try so hard to make her happy, but my job is crap and noone seems to be hiring. After reading my girlfriend's xanga entry, I started thinking about things. I wonder where I would be right now had I not stayed with Jamie after everything. I'd probably be in military or wasting my life away. I mean, everything that happened was absolutely horrible, like waking up from a nightmare, but it's still there. I still sometimes think about what happened, like how she left without me knowing, how she was so different and lied all the time to me. I missed a lot of her life last summer and became a hermit in my dorm. If only I could turn back time, but that's impossible. I just wish that I could show Jamie how sorry I am for everything. I know she still hurts from what she did and that she struggles at times. I hate when we argue still, b/c it just brings back some of those memories and makes me think about things. Other than that, we are doing really well right now, but the marriage may be postponed. The only thing that's hard for me right now is understanding how Jamie got this job and she really doesn't do much, at least for how much she is getting paid. Plus, I never get to hang out with the friends she works with, which I would like to eventually. it's cool that she is getting to work for them even when we move to Charleston though. I'm looking forward to moving, just not living on the opposite end of the campus from Jamie. It should be fine, and hopefully we will find decent jobs downtown near the college. that would make things a lot easier. Anyway, it's late and my eyes hurt, so I'm going to bed. goodnight. | | |
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